This Kiss, This Kiss

Pearl Tang Xiaow Jun, Study of a Kiss 2, 2023.

The art of curation in Art Therapy

A blurring of lines, a smearing of lipstick, a moment of madness. I am conversing with the many Mes in hazy black and white ink as I map them out, piece them together, and listen to their conversations. Taking a pause and allowing a moment of reflection to step in, I noticed the care taken to pour over which piece to focus on and what needs to be reduced, amplified. This care reminds me of a discussion I had with a dear friend and teacher of mine – the origins of curation. A curator, from the word curare in Latin, is one who cares for someone or something in both a physical and spiritual way (curate(n.) n.d.). Such a notion fits into the tenets of Art Based Inquires where the intention is to offer a space to discover emergent ways of knowing and being. On that note, I would like to discuss how an art therapist curates – or cares for – expressions and in the process, allows transformation to occur in the emergent knowing.

Looks like I have deleted some precious pictures ….! But thank goodness for screen shots!

Caring for a being – be it person, animal, or thing – is a meticulous process that involves mindfulness in each step of the way. Likewise in Art Based Inquiries, procedures are intentionally thought through and reflect upon at each stage of probing a particular access point. Patricia Leavy – in Criteria for Evaluating ABR - emphasises having a criterion for methodology and using it judiciously to evaluate the rigors of an Art Based Inquiry so as to offer a careful – and thoughtful - eye to observe each step of the inquirer’s exploration and to guide them towards transformation and growth (­2020, p. 576,). Perhaps, I shall endeavour to show you my process of coming to know:

It all started with scanning through my collection of expressions and picking out what resonated the most with me. Hazy glitched printout of my faces juxtaposed next to simple line drawings. Their ghostly stares and grotesque features haunt me. They whisper through thick grey lips. Disconcerted, I am possessed to pursue this line of thought that remains an image in my sketch book. I take a pause to look at all my faces staring back at me…

I bracket in works that resonated with me while I was making them. However, a feeling of strange distance and intimacy falls upon me as I look at my faces. I framed them in a Sequential Timeline to reduce and also to sketch out their development and the amplify the intersubjective relationships between them. I need to give these thoughts and sensations space. I offer us a moment to lightness. My vision softened and I let a breath fill my stomach. I rearrange them again, taking out what did not resonate to reduce the noise. Then another round of clustering with words (to apprehend these colours, these senses!) and bracketed in meanings that spoke to me. Immersed. Risk. Rebirth. Lines draw my eyes to them. They expand and contract like a shimmering mirage. I observed an intersubjective thread that connects these expressions and words: An expanding movement of space captured in fixed frames where distorted red lips meet radial play of reflection in the Intersubjective Response (ISR) to my companion, and in her ISR to me. Together, they form a crescendo of consonance amplified and made conceptually palpable through word and images. This final series of expressions describes my discovery: through negotiating tension, I reinvent myself. 

Study of a Kiss 2, Pearl Tang Xiaow Jun, 2023

In using the MIECAT procedures, I have joined a discourse, and translated our conversations through words, noticed what was most pressing, and pinpointed an area to delve into. It was a moment of illumination that is derived from a carefully curated process that speaks of the rigors of Art-Based Inquiries.

Besides the more scientific and solemn calibrations required in the procedures used in curation, there is also the spiritual aspect of care. The term curator is also derived from the position of a curate whose role is the care for the spiritual wellbeing of his parish (curate(n.), n.d.). This brings me to the ethics of art therapy and the universal values that governs it.  According to Ardra Cole and Maura McIntyre in The Alzheimer’s Project, the idea of Loving Research brings with it values such as comfort and inclusion by evoking empathy as well as honouring accessibility and different ways of knowing (2006, p. 64,). Similarly, I have identified a few values which I hold close to heart: sincerity, open-mindedness, understanding, compassion. taking risks. reinvention. And these, I have brought along in my inquiry spurred on by the encouragement to be more immersed in the process. Perhaps it is about nursing a more experimental process that had eventually landed me in my final series of expressions.

Initially I played with my hair…I rubbed it on my face…silky, soft. But there was distance between myself and something that was cut months ago. I wanted something more immersive. Something that I am part of. I bracket those desires in. Noticing the textures on my skin, I thought of what to put on it. Paint? No…not at the dining table. My mom would kill me. I have lipstick…and an eyeliner from years ago! I could do something fun with it! Especially since I am alone today – none will judge. I thought about how to capture my inquiry up close. I look at the clear cold acrylic sheet that I have carefully cleaned with a facial wipe for fear of developing acne. I purse my lips and press it down tenderly first to prepare myself…then I lift to see what came out of it. Red. Rouge. Greasy. I do it again now rougher, not thinking. I bracket out thoughts instead feeling the sheen of oil slick on my skin. That’s enough, I want to look! I follow a trail – like foot prints or a constellation. Lipstick sits in the wells left by acne scars and pores leading to my forehead. And there I meet my eyes. A recognition of self. An acknowledgement of fear. A chuckle at that moment of absurdity. I hold them all in my gaze.

              I bring this to my scanner. Again, I take great care to clean my clear acrylic sheet that is both barrier and magnifying glass. Moreover, this screen is like a frame that defines perceptions while also limiting it. Now, I have no control over the lighting, nor speed or what would be captured. I pressed the ‘start’ button and a column of light runs across the screen. No time to think. I shut my eyes. I press my face and fumbled along the darkness guided by light diffused through eyelids. Should I move diagonally? Yes. Now, quickly before it reaches the end! Put in some cheek. I let my face run on the grease of the lipstick. Or something more intimate. The insides of my mouth, yes. Then the scanner hits the end. I opened my eyes…

Study of Face 1, Pearl Tang Xiaow Jun, 2023

A moment of catharsis leaves me blank. I withdraw from the scanner. Oh, I didn’t try some tongue… I turned back to face my face. A dialogue oscillating between intentional thoughts and surrender captured. My own image made unfamiliar. Grotesque but mesmerising in its own skin, in my own skin.

The repetitions reminds me of Nerida Blairs words on Mind Maps in US Women, Our Ways, Our Worlds, “Mind Maps …embody rhythm, dimension, pattern, colours, metaphors, and story…a holistic process – linear and non-linear” (2020, p.150,). Her words speak of decentring knowledge, evoking senses, and creating alternative realities. Similarly, my inquiry becomes a site where the safety of rhythms and repetitions allows for an awareness of restraints. After the first two rounds of smearing lipstick all over my face, I have grown tired of putting on and taking off make-up. I want something more. Something different. Through this awareness, one is able to bear witness to one’s habits…one’s own suffering.  In the dialogue between Alfredo Jaar and Patricia C. Phillips found in The Aesthetics of Witnessing, Jaar’s words, “The definition of the human condition is a mise-en-scene itself” resonates with my understandings of art therapy. In being present, in witnessing, one is changed by an experience…and the difficulties of translation means that one creates a new reality (2005, p.14). A reflection that is created and paired (most of the time) with perfection…or imperfection to be precise. My reflection is part of a ritual that has taken place for close to three decades and has a history that spans hundreds of years. I pour over my skin in the mirror and through reflections. A ritual of nitpicking what I – and society – deem as flawed. However, the inquiry has decentred such thoughts by challenging what I have previously internalised and projected onto, reflected into, myself. In the act of undoing learnt behaviour, I discover potential – “the capability to be or become” – in experiencing a new sense of self (potential (adj.), n.d.). Potential then tips into becoming a reality with new sensations and new notions illuminated, arrested, and amplified. The process, quite literally, sheds light on an uneasy relationship between myself and my face. One that defies conventional portraits peppered across advertisements and social media. In turn, I am able to be outside of my habitus.

Study of Mouth 2, Pearl Tang Xiaow Jun, 2023

In witnessing, one is moved to open up space within minds and hearts to accommodate a new experience, which encourages qualities like compassion and humility to grow within and between companion and inquirer. Witnessing “demands a certain level of responsibility” (Jaar, 2005, p. 14) and this responsibility also falls onto companions to hold a safe space for the inquirer to thread on tensions.  I found a jab of unease when Olaia decided to inquire with lipstick as an ISR to me. Stop it…Your expressions are derived from someone else too! I smiled to be present. I am all ears open to Olaia and her experience of making her expression. Her words, “courage to be wild” and her cheer has transformed a solemn solitary activity into one that is light-hearted and shared. There was also a felt sense of consonance…a solidarity between women that speaks of courage and companionship …made better with a dash of humour! Perhaps, Alfredo Jaar says it best when describing Rwanda Project as a modest way to express solidarity with the people whose lives were affected by the tragedies (2005, p. 15). No longer is this lived experience insular. It becomes accessible and expands to other restorations of bodies that is beyond my own. Our personal experiences are made pronounced, public. Together, they form a curated discourse of bodies felt and seen encompassing transformation and realities. Hence, through the processes witnessing, and thus caring, one nurtures, at the very least, compassion and/ or a moment of illumination or transformation.

Intersubjective Response, Olaia Melo, 2023

To conclude, expressions should be cared for with a curatorial approach in both form and spirit. Perhaps, it raises the idea that an art therapist is akin to a curator in terms of how care is taken to both oversee ways of knowing and also nurse the inquirer in terms of recovery or restoration of self. In the process of mapping, amplifying, reducing, and – in my own inquiry – repetitions, the familiar becomes foreign and the breaks in rhythm encourages a moment of illumination and transformation. By witnessing such change, one is able to experience other possible realities. Such felt senses can be both personal and public. All these are an embodiment of how one can find new ways of becoming or being through a carefully curated process in Art-based inquiries.

­

Bibliography

Blaire, N. (2020). Indigenous Voices: In The Contested Space of Indigenous And Western Intellectual Traditions. In Us Women, Our Ways, Our World (pp. 145–156). Magabala books, Aboriginal Coporation.

Cole, A. L., McIntyre, M., & Burns, L. (2006). The Project. In The alzheimer’s project: Living and dying with dignity (pp. 18–65). Backalong Books.

Leavy, P. (2020). Criteria for Evaluating Arts-Based Research. In Method meets art: Arts-based research practice (pp. 575–584). The Guilford Press.

Online etymology dictionary. (n.d.). Curate (n.). etymonline.com. https://www.etymonline.com/word/curate

Online Etymology Dictionary. (n.d.). Potential: Search online etymology dictionary. etymology.com. https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=potential

Phillips, P. C., & Jaar, A. (2005). The aesthetics of witnessing: A conversation with Alfredo Jaar. Art Journal, 64(3), 6–27. https://doi.org/10.2307/20068397

Images

Emin, T., & Lucas, S. (1993). The Last Night of the Shop 3.7.93. Art and Artists. Tate . Retrieved October 16, 2023, from https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/emin-lucas-the-last-night-of-the-shop-3-7-93-t07605.